Humor, god som dårlig!

 

[OnkelMorfar]

hende her?

Tak for den Hawk... Tak, så mange gange tak! 

[Ariana Grande]

Okay.
Jeg faldt lige over den her.

Normalt når Demi smiler så smiler hun VIRKELIGT meget..

[Ariana Grande]

[Ariana Grande]

[HansenLFC]

 

[U-4-E]

Så sandt, så sandt..

[nicolajtmadsen]

A priest, a pedophile and a rapist walks into a bar. He orders a beer.

[Yessir]

[OnkelMorfar]

Haha, "en ældre kvinde der gav dem fingeren"! xD

[nicolajtmadsen]

"Spil så for helvede noget Kandis"

[Ariana Grande]

En pige fra min klasse i dag.

"Jeg kan ikke spise ris, for når jeg spiser ris får jeg ondt i nakken"

[mathiasnh]

Faldt lige oven denne her på facebook. Jeg synes sgu, at den er meget sjov.


Football vs SEX

1. Going to your bf/gf without being invited = OFFSIDE.
2.Dating a girl today & having sex on the same day = FREE-KICK.
3. Condom = GOALKEEPER
4. Condom breaks = PENALTY
5. Abortion = RED CARD
6. A girl with lots of energy = CAPTAIN
7. Having sex without a condom = OWN GOAL
8. Taking a lot of time without coming = MAN OF THE MATCH.
9.Banging 3 girls in a day = HAT-TRICK.
10. Having many chicks and banging all = MVP
11. Having sex with your ex = FRIENDLY MATCH
12. 8 years of sex without getting a child = ARSENAL
13. After 2 rounds, u request for more =EXTRA TIME.
14. Taking it gently when having sex = FAIR PLAY
15. Biting her n!pples = SUAREZ
16.Two legs on shoulder = THROWIN
17.Asking her 'how do you want it' =Taking instructions on the sideline.
18. A lady using pills after sex and later still got pregnant = DEFENSIVE ERROR
19.Girl being pregnant = GoOoOoOallllll
20.Ur guy collect ur chick= True pass
21.Having sex with a girl..and your mum open d door= Injury
22.You and your girl break up= Game over
23. Girl tell u to stop= YELLOW CARD

[FCK88]

HAHAHA! - Jeg kunne ikke lade være med at dele den her

[verdenskrig]

[Risom]

Grinte lidt af denne:

Two Irish builders (Patrick and Seamus) are seated either side of a
Table in a pub when a well-dressed man enters, orders a beer and sits
on a stool at the bar.

The two builders start to speculate about the occupation of the suit

Pat: - I reckon he´s an accountant.

Seamus: - No way - he´s a stockbroker.

Pat: - He ain´t no stockbroker! A stockbroker wouldn´t come in here!

The argument repeats itself for some time until the volume of beer
gets the better of Pat and he makes for the toilet.

On entering the toilet he sees that the suit is standing at a urinal.

Curiosity and the several beers get the better of him.
Pat: - ´Scuse me.... no offence meant, but me and me mate were
wondering what you do for a living?

Suit: - No offence taken! I´m a Logical Scientist by profession

Pat: - Oh? What´s that then?

Suit: - I´ll try to explain by example ...... Do you have a goldfish at home?

Pat: - Er ... mmm .......... well yeah, I do as it happens!

Suit: - Well, it´s logical that you keep it either in a bowl or in a
pond. Which is it?

Pat: - It´s in a pond!

Suit: - Well it´s reasonable to suppose that you have a large garden then?

Pat: - As it happens, yes I have got a big garden.

Suit: - Well then it´s logical to assume that, in this town, if you
have a large garden then you have a large house?

Pat: - As it happens I´ve got a five bedroom house ......... built it myself!

Suit: - Well given that you´ve built a five bedroom house it´s logical
to assume that you haven´t built it just for yourself and that you are
quite probably married? And with a family?

Pat: - Yes I am married, I live with my wife and four children.

Suit: - Well then it is logical to assume that you are sexually active
with your wife on a regular basis?

Pat: - Yep! Five times a week!

Suit: - Well then it is logical to suggest that you don´t masturbate very often?

Pat: - Do what? Not me, mate!

Suit: - Well there you are! That´s logical science at work!

Pat: - How´s that then?

Suit: - Well from finding out that you had a goldfish, I´ve told you
about your sex life!

Pat: - I see! That´s pretty impressive.. Thanks mate!

Both leave the toilet and Pat returns to his mate.

Seamus: - I see the suit was in there. Did you ask him what he does?

Pat: - Yep! He´s a logical scientist!

Seamus: - What´s that then?

Pat: - I´ll try and explain. Do you have a goldfish?

Seamus: - Nope

Pat: - Well then, you´re a wanker.