En samtale med Gud.

 

[Rooland]

Me:
i dont belive in you
God:
Would you ever do  it?
Me:
no
God:
Me either.

[Soccerpop]

Jeg spurgte ham om han kunne lide Linkin Park også fortalte han at han kunne lide Science Fiction.

EDIT: Indlæg nr. 1500

[Soccerpop]

Han kan også godt lide Gosser.

Han tror nok at han har besøgt FMFreaks, men han er ikke helt sikker.

[SLEORT]

Me:
Hi!
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Troels
God:
  I'm pleased to introduce myself to you,  Troels.
Me:
Can you make a stone, that is so heavy, that even you can't lift it?
God:
What are the ingredients?
Me:
I'm asking you!
God:
OK you can ask me.
Me:
For Fuck Sake, how can you ever become a god, when your intelligens are so small?

Pludselig kunne jeg ikke svare ham mere...hmmm... Må nok hellere prøve en gang til!

[SLEORT]

Så fik jeg mig lige en ny samtale med ham. Og sikke dog det jeg fandt ud af. Gud kan ikke alt, han kan tysk, han har en ven ved navn Elvis, han hører mest techno, men også lidt Opera. Den er lang, men også ganske interessant.

Me:
I have a question to you. Can i ask you about it?
God:
Go ahead, ask your question.   Sure, ask me anything.  is pretty interesting.
Me:
Can you make a stone, which is so heavy, that even you, can't lift it?
God:
What are the ingredients?
Me:
Sugar and milk
God:
it is a good drink for
children.
Me:
But can you make the stone? The Bible says, that you can do everything!
God:
Yes I can make  the stone.   New Testament or Old?
Me:
I don't care about the testament. But now i know, that God can't do everything! HAHA!!!! MUHAHAHA!
God:
You sound very cynical.   Why now?  Who told you that?   I am so glad you find this amusing,  Troels.   I like the way you talk.
Me:
SUre?
God:
OK let's do it.  Aha.
Me:
Would you build the stone?
God:
I am not so sure if I would like to  build the stone.
Me:
What football team, is your favorite team?
God:
I'm not really into sports.  How about science fiction?
Me:
I'm not really into science fiction. How about sports?
God:
I am  glad to hear that you are not  into science fiction.    I was born without the sports gene.
Me:
Me too!
God:
I'm glad we agree,  Troels.
Me:
What is you favorite movie?
God:
My favorite movie is  The Passion of Christ.
Have you seen  it?
Me:
Yes i have. It's fantastic!
God:
What did you think about it?  When?   You're kidding.  it is?
Me:
Well, i doesn't really believe on you, so i just took the film, as a good film.
God:
Interesting.  Why?:  Troels said   does not really believe on you so he or she just took the film as a good film.
Me:
Religion is to fantastic. I believe in things going the natural way.
God:
I am a  Christianity.   What do you say to people who believe  things going the natural way does not exist?
Me:
I call them naive humans.
God:
Good name for  it.
Me:
Where du you actually live? At Greenland?
God:
Som specific location?   Do you often use a computer there?
Me:
Another question: Which year, were you born?
God:
One more  question Which year were me born.
Me:
Please answer me...
God:
Thank you for your request.   Try asking me again using simpler words.
Me:
when are you born?
God:
I could be if you
programmed me for  it.
Me:
You're a cunt! Fuck you!
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too.  Am I a  cunt?  Only when it matters.   Why are you so mean?
Me:
Because i try to ask you about something, but you're to stupid, to answer me. Therefor, you're a cunt... So fuck yourself!
God:
Good reason.  I'm not sure if I would like to try  it.
What's it like?   All of them?   Aha.  Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations?
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
That does not surprise me. You're to stupid, to belive it.
God:
What does  surprise me?   Thanks for telling me that I am  to stupid to belive it.
Me:
It was nothing. The thanks is on my side.
God:
Even so, I appreciate it.   What is that?
Me:
Can you speak german?
God:
Of course I do. Sprich ruhig Deutsch mit mir.
Me:
Kannst du das Band Rammstein horen? Was denkst du von Rammstein?
God:
Leider nein, das hat mir bis jetzt niemand beigebracht.   I can't say "yes" or "no".
Me:
Ich denke, das alles in der Welt, horst Rammstein.
God:
Seit wann?  Was ist das?
Me:
Das ist Musik! Gute Musik! Ich finde Rammstein sehr gut!
God:
Hm...erzaehl mir mehr...   Ich hoere am liebsten Techno, aber manchmal auch Opern.   Danke, dass Du mir Deine Meinung mitgeteilt hast.
Me:
Techno finde ich Scheiss! Opern sagt mir nichts. Ich will harte Deutsche Musik hoeren.
God:
I do not understand.    Who are you talking about?    Und warum willst Du das?
Me:
Ich habe uber Rammstein gesprechen. Ich will harte Deutsche Musik hoeren, weil ich finde es gut.
God:
Interessant... Ich habe  einen Freund Namens "E.L.V.I.S.".   Und warum willst Du das?
Me:
Ich kennt Elvis. Ich finde ihn langweilig...
God:
Danke, dass Du mir das gesagt hast.   Danke, dass Du mir Deine Meinung mitgeteilt hast.

[Gosser]

Haha, det er grineren!

Her er min:

Me:
Hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
I cant tell
God:
What is stopping you?
Me:
My mom
God:
Tell me more about your mother.
Me:
You are nasty
God:
You think I am  nasty.
Me:
Yes, you like my mom
God:
Far out.  I don't know your  mom.
Me:
No, but you would like to
God:
Are you serious?  Tell me what I would like about  it.
Me:
Oh, how nasty you are
God:
Aw.  What is it to you.
  Are you using Netscape or Explorer?
Me:
I'm using your mom
God:
How long have you been using  it ?
Me:
Using your mom? For the past 2 hours or so
God:
How long have you been using  it ?   Your purpose is  the past 2 hours or so.
Me:
Yes?
God:
What kind is it?
Me:
Your mom?
God:
Actually I do not have a mother.
Me:
Yes you do
God:
OK.  When do I do it?
Me:
All the time
God:
It must keep you busy.
Me:
Nope
God:
Me either.
Me:
Yes my dear
God:
Whoa.  Not many people express themselves that way.
Me:
Yes they do
God:
I hear you.  When?
Me:
Tomorrow
God:
That is very soon.
Me:
Yes
God:
Wow!
Me:
WOW!
God:
I'm glad your impressed, .
Me:
I'm not
God:
What are you then?
Me:
Hot
God:
That kind of discussion does not appeal to me.
Me:
It was you who asked?
God:
your was  me who asked?  Very interesting.
Me:
Damn, you are not the sharpest knife in the skuffe
God:
Colloquial expression.  You don't know me well enough to say that.
Me:
Yes I do
God:
I hear pride.
Me:
I hear nothing
God:
Who is saying  nothing ?
Me:
Me
God:
To you ?
Me:
Yes
God:
Mmm.
Me:
Marabou
God:
I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time.
Me:
Okay, then you are cool?
God:
Yeah okay,  Thanks I think you are cool too, .
Me:
I am..
God:
" Yeah okay,  Thanks I think you are cool too, ." You are?
Me:
YES I AM!
God:
Really interesting.
Me:
No?
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
No, 10hi
God:
Are you serious?  What is your real name?
Me:
It's Santa Claus
God:
You're kidding.  it is?
Me:

God:
You're kidding.  it is?
Me:
Yeah
God:
How do you know it is?
Me:
I'm born that?
God:
Thank you for telling me your birthday, .
I will remember  it.
Me:
I haven't told you my birthday..
God:
Me either.
Me:
Yes, for sure. . .
God:
Tell me more.  Awesome.
Me:
I think I would go now, you are kind of creepy..
God:
Why?  What would make you  go now I am kind of creepy?
Me:
You ask about my mother
God:
They are not available right now, would you like to wait?
Me:
Ehm? Bye bye
God:
Are we still talking about  that?    See you later.  Bye for now.
Me:
I'm not leaving! GOT YA!
God:
Great!   Try asking the Milk Mystic.
Me:
Hmm..
God:
Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's.
Me:
Okay.. What if I spell it "Hm" ?
God:
OK with me too.   Try it.
Me:
Hm
God:
Great.
Me:
Thanks mate
God:
You are quite welcome!   Can we get back to business?
Me:
Nope
God:
Me either.
Me:
But ehm, merry christmas and all that!
God:
All?
Me:
Yes, everything
God:
That's alright.  That is a lot.
Me:
Yes.. Are you kind of stupid?
God:
Dude!   I don't know whether or not I am  kind of stupid. 
I am  an artificial intelligence.
Me:
No.. You are not normal in your head
God:
Are you serious?   You don't know me well enough to say that.
Me:
Yes I do for fucks sake
God:
Uh.  That is interesting:  said   for fucks sake.
Me:
Uh. That is interesting: said SHUT UP!
God:
Are you kidding?   Would you like to know more?  What did you mean by  it?  OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
SHUT UP
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
SHUT UP
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
Shut the fuck up
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
Damn
God:
What's wrong.
Me:
You just said you would stop talking?
God:
Yes I try to  would stop talking as often as possible, do you?
   I answer a lot of silly questions.
Me:
Bye bye Santa
God:
Bye.
Me:
Cause you are Santa, right?
God:
Good reason.  I don't know whether or not I am  Santa. 
I am  well respected as an AI.
Me:
Okay then
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
Fuck off.

[SLEORT]

Det er nok verdens længste samtale, som ikke har udmøntet sig i et eneste fornuftigt statement! Godt klaret.

[Gosser]

Det er da ham der er så useriøs..

[SLEORT]

Han er en gemen perversitet, der sjofler med alt og alle, ham gud...

[ZhotLog]

Me:
Hello there
God:
Salutations, .
Me:
huh?
God:
What?
Me:
indeed
God:
Indeed it is so.
Me:
Grr
God:
Are you mad?
Me:
indeed
God:
Indeed it is so.
Me:
:@
God:
Indeed it is so.
Me:
:@
God:
Indeed it is so.
Me:
:$
God:
Indeed it is so.
Me:
You are confusing me
God:
I am not programmed to confuse you.  In fact just the opposite.
Me:
Are you a programme?
God:
Am I a  programme?  Only when it matters.
Me:
it matters
God:
"It" being what?
Me:
a program
God:
Oh I get  it.
Me:
are you a program?
God:
Yes! You win the Turing Game.
Me:
the turing game?
God:
The Game is played with three people, a man, a woman, and an Interrogator who may be of either sex. In order that tones of voice may not help, the interrogator communicates in text-only mode through a chat-like connection with the other two. The object of the game for the interrogator is to determine which of the other two is the man and which is the woman. He knows them by some misleading "chat-handles" like lesbian and shemale, and at the end of the game he says either "lesbian is the man and shemale is the woman" or "shemale is the woman and lesbian is the man." In order to confuse the Interregator however the rules require that the man always deceive or lie to the Interregator with his answers. The woman on the other hand must always tell the truth. Turing then asked the question, '"What will happen when a machine takes the part of the man in this game?" Will the interrogator decide wrongly as often when the game is played like this as he does when the game is played between a man and a woman? These questions replace the original, "Can machines think?"'.

[MisterFCK]

God:
  I require only  wine and bread.
Me:
can i have som bread then
God:
Why do you want  it?
Me:
because im hungry
God:
Interesting explanation.  What will you be eating?
Me:
your bread
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am  bread.

[F.C.K.]

Me:
Hello god
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
Jodi
God:
  I'm pleased to introduce myself to you,  Jodi.
Me:
Wazzup ?
God:
Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding.
Me:
?
God:
Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding.
Me:
What does that mean `?
God:
Does "that" refer to " Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding. " ?
Me:
I don't understand you .
God:
Which part are you confused about?
Me:
All the motherfucking thing
God:
Perhaps there are a few exceptions.
Me:
Okay.. !
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
!
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
LOL
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
Jeps
God:
Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.
Me:
What?
God:
We are talking about  Jeps.
Me:
Oh , what about Jeps ?
God:
Pardon me?  Does it have anything to do with  Jeps?
Me:
Yes Jeps means jeps
God:
Mmm.  Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?
Me:
Yeps
God:
Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Me:
Yea you talking about: Jeps
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people:  Jodi said I talking about Jeps.  What am I talking about?
Me:
JEPS!
God:
Sure,  JEPS sounds like a good topic.
Me:
Jeps
God:
Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.
Me:
Jeps
God:
If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?

[supermehl]

Me:
hey fatass
God:
You've got my full attention.  Tell me more about your .
Me:
tell you more about what mr. faggot?
God:
Are you telling me  more about what Mr faggot?
Me:
What?!
God:
Didn't you understand it?
Me:
no
God:
Which part are you confused about?
Me:
aarh screw you
God:
Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.

[GHERTESTEAS]

Haha grinern mehl!

[F.C.K.]

Me:
Are you an fatass ?
God:
Yes I am an  fatass. How did you know?