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Rob McLean: "John Hartson is playing superbly today."
Sandy Clark: "Yes Rob, there's no one better today."
McLean: "So Sandy, who is your man of the match?"
Clark: "Alan Thompson."
"There's only one club in Europe that you can leave Manchester United for -
Real Madrid or Barcelona."
John Aldridge
"I've always been a childhood Liverpool fan, even when I was a kid."
Harry Kewell
"Maine Road was a great football stadium, but as time moved on it stayed
where
it is."
Kevin Keegan
"Believe you me, Ron McKay is no Henrik Larsson"
Archie McPherson confuses Sunday Herald journalist with top European striker
Roy Makaay.
"We'll have more football later. Meanwhile, here are the highlights from the
Scottish Cup final."
ITV's Gary Newbon
"There could be fatalities - or, even worse, injuries."
Phil Neal, looking forward to England's trip to Turkey
"I don't think Lee Bowyer is racist at all, I think he would stamp on
anybody's head."
Rodney Marsh
"Can you please tell us - what language is he speaking?"
Romanian television station TVR after being sent a tape of a Gordon Strachan
press conference
"Although we are playing Russian Roulette we are obviously playing Catch-22
at
the moment and it's a difficult scenario to get my head round."
Paul Sturrock, Plymouth Argyle FC
"I can't fault Mark Palios too highly."
John Motson, BBC1
"The man we want has to fit a certain profile. Is he a top coach? Would the
players respect him? Is he a nutcase?"
David Pleat on candidates for the Spurs job.
"It was an excellent cross by Gary (Neville), I was surprised by the quality
of it."
Roy Keane
"As long as no-one scored, it was always going to be close."
Arsene Wenger
"I want to win the league with Everton."
Wayne Rooney has them rolling in the aisles
"Have you ever seen a salad, have you ****."
Manchester United fans every time Leicester City's portly Alan Rogers was on
the ball
"The flow of the game was constantly interrupted as the ref was always
wanting
to book somebody. I lost count of his mistakes after the 97th."
Hearts boss Craig Levein lands himself in trouble with the SFA
Interviewer: 'So 0-0 at half time, what did you say to the players?'
Davie Hay: 'At 1-0 you mean?'
Interviewer: 'Sorry, at 1-0'
Davie Hay: 'Well I said ... oh, sorry, you're right, it was 0-0...'
From Setanta's coverage of Livingston v Celtic.
"I simply refuse to start jumping about like a neep for anyone. It's not my
style."
Aberdeen boss Steve Paterson after complaints by supporters that he is too
laid back.
"I knew it wasn't going to be our day when I arrived at Links Park and
found
that we had a woman running the line. She should be at home making the tea
or
the dinner for her man who comes in after he has been to the football. This
is
a professional man's game."
The not-at-all sexist Peter Hetherston
"It's always nice to score but getting a goal against one of the best sides
in
the world is a bit special."
James McFadden, master of understatement, after his goal against Holland
"I would rather gouge my eyes out with a rusty spoon than have
(David)O'Leary
back as manager."
Simon Jose, of the Leeds United Independent Fans' Association
"You've got both ends of the spectrum at Newcastle. On the one hand there's
Alan Shearer, who is rightly regarded as an ambassador for the game, on the
other hand you have Craig Bellamy."
Charlton goalkeeper Dean Kiely
"The Scottish Football Association are nothing but a bunch of perpendicular
ponces ... they are like a fly around a cow's backside."
Dundee director Giovanni Di Stefano
"Why do people keep signing Nick Barmby?"
Jimmy Greaves
"I've achieved nothing, I've won nothing, and that's why I am here."
Harry Kewell on why he joined Liverpool
"Gary Speed has been absolutely massive for me. His influence on the team
cannot be underestimated."
Bobby Robson (Newcastle)
"It's going to be difficult for me - I've never had to learn a language and
now I do."
David Beckham after his move to Madrid
"A goal is going to decide this in many ways."
David O'Leary
"It's slightly alarming the way Manchester United decapitated against
Stuttgart."
Mark Lawrenson, after United capitulated to the Germans in October
"Shameless drunks."
David Ginola's tribute to British women
"You takes your money, you pays your choice, sort of thing."
Leicester City's Tim Flowers
"Luke Chadwick is proving he's a good footballer. He's not David Beckham,
but
then again not many players are."
Cardiff manager Lennie Lawrence
"Arsenal are streets ahead of everyone in this league and Manchester United
are up there with them, obviously."
Craig Bellamy
"Hoddle's motto is: If you can't convince the players, just confuse 'em."
Tim Sherwood
"Liverpool are my nap selection - I prefer to sleep when they're on the
box."
Stan Bowles
"If Heskey can play for England, so can I."
As sung by Manchester City fans at Anfield
"I wish every game was against Everton."
Juninho's footballing version of 'I wish it could be Christmas every day'.
"I am not dreaming about Arsenal. You need huge qualities to go there and
there are already so many great players at the club. If I have the chance to
go to England, I will aim on a level below Arsenal. I like Tottenham very
much."
Lens midfielder Antoine Sibierski
"If we had taken our chances we would have won - at least."
David O'Leary (Aston Villa)
"If you can get through the first round you have a good chance of getting
into
the next one."
Nigel Worthington (Norwich)
"We knew Dunfermline would lie down at Ibrox, and they did."
Chris Sutton lands himself a six-match ban
"We did not deserve to lose today - we weren't beaten, we lost."
Howard Wilkinson (Sunderland)
"That's going to happen a lot, teams will be at their most dangerous against
us when we have the ball."
Dave Jones (Wolves)
"The sending off? Well, Jason McAteer would annoy anyone.''
Roy Keane
We can't replace Gary Speed. Where do you get an experienced player like him
with a left foot and a head?"
Bobby Robson
"When he was carried off at Leicester someone asked me if he was
unconscious,
but I didn't have a clue - that's what he's always like."
Southampton manager Gordon Strachan on Claus Lundekvam
"It's an incredible rise to stardom - at 17 you're more likely to get a call
from Michael Jackson than Sven Goran Eriksson."
Derek McGovern (Channel Four presenter) on Wayne Rooney's call-up to the
England squad
"Like a woman on her wedding day - nervous, out of position and hoping
everything would soon be over so she could go up to the bedroom."
Spanish newspaper Marca on Fabien Barthez's performance against Real Madrid
"All I'm saying is it was a cold night."
James Grady of Partick after his moment of exposure on live television
against
Celtic
"I think I feel more Scottish than a lot of fans at Celtic and Rangers do."
Berti Vogts alienates a sizeable chunk of the Scottish footballing public
"At the age of 47 I'm not going to start resigning. The players don't
deserve
to pick up their wage packets after that performance."
Peter Reid after Leeds' 6-1 defeat to Portsmouth. He was sacked the next
day.
"When it's played into Henry's feet, that's not football, it's art.
And I don't even like art, but I like that."
Alan Hansen getting carried away with Thierry Henry
"If Real Madrid had offered me half of what I'm getting at Chelsea, I'd have
stayed with them."
Claude Makelele on the wages at Chelsea
"I'm trying to be careful what I say but the referee was useless."
Dave Jones on Uriah Rennie
"He will probably wake up after having sleepless nights thinking about that
one."
Alan Parry
"Phil Neville - today he's at full back, in the last game he took over the
Butt holding role."
Five Live commentator on England v Croatia
"And he signals to the bench with his groin."
Five Live's Mark Bright
"As with every young player, he's only 18."
Alex Ferguson on Cristiano Ronaldo
"No matter who we're playing against, or who our opponents are, we want to
win
the game."
David Beckham
"I love England, I'm going. I'm a family man, I'm not looking for trouble.
I'm
SAS trained and if one of those Turks comes near me, I'll do 'im."
A gentle England fan makes his travel preparations
"Dave has this incredible knack of pulling a couple of chickens out of the
hat
each season."
Mark McGhee
"McCall is trying to thread a needle through a haystack there."
Mark Bright
"And jubilation around Stamford Bridge as Chelsea secure a place in the
Champions League." [ Camera pans to Ken Bates]. And none more happier than
Sir
Richard Attenborough who is at the game today."
Fox Sports World's Carlos Pachado
"We created four or five chances and took probably all of them."
Ole Gunnar Solskjaer explains how United scored six
"I thought from start to finish we really started well."
John Hartson after a Celtic win
"It is a question of technique. Scots obviously have finer technique"
Juventus coach Marcello Lippi gives a tongue-in-cheek explanation of how
Alex
Ferguson kicked a boot at David Beckham when Lippi himself has done the same
thing in the past at his players and missed every time
"We have the fan base to take on any club in Europe, so our aim is not to be
in the Premier League but to be in the top echelon of the Premier League and
consequently in the Champions League. That is the only place which Welsh
people will accept"
Cardiff owner Sam Hammam gets a bit carried away after their Division Two
play-off victory
"He's going to try to make it to as many games as he can - which is easy
when
you have your own plane."
Roman Abramovich's media relations officer John Mann on Chelsea's owner
"It's fair to say the crowd booed them off at half-time and then I booed
them
into the dressing room."
Wolves manager Dave Jones
"I know people say Ronaldo is the best player in the world, but I think I'm
the best."
The ever-modest Nicolas Anelka
"I am ugly, but what I do have is charm."
Ronaldinho
"Never mind leaping like a salmon, Jeff, he leaps like a goldfish."
Rodney Marsh
"How did you straighten him out, because he credits you with that?"
Chris Kamara asking Graham Taylor about, er, Elton John
"I have noticed we often drop points, in the games where we fail to score"
Sir Alex Ferguson explaining the 1-0 defeat at Wolves
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