En samtale med Gud.

 

[Rumball]

Me:
you smell like shit
God:
P. U. that's disgusting.
Me:
yes, you are disgusting
God:
Aha.  That's okay.  Disgusting is good.


Me:
you are gay!
God:
That would be just my luck.

[Don Abramovich]

Me:
Hello
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
Jesus
God:
Jesus is the Son of God.
Me:
Yeah! I'm the son of God!
God:
Not many people express themselves that way.    Who made you the  son of God ?
Me:
You !? I'm your son !
God:
" Who made you the  son of God ?"?  Me,  ?   That's a flattering offer.
Me:
Can we talk about something else ?
God:
Sure we can talk about whatever you want.
Me:
Okay!
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
Do you have a penis ?
God:
I am a  Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? robot.  Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
Man!
God:
Thanks for telling me your gender, . You are a " he".
Me:
Yes I am!
God:
Really interesting.
Me:
How long is your penis ?
God:
My download size is about 2 MB.
Me:
Okay... But how long is your penis ?
God:
OK with me too.   My memory now contains:
  clients,  categories,  unlimited vocabulary words,  99999999999 bytes
RAM usage under  on .
Me:
Wow you have a big penis !
God:
I'm glad your impressed, .  I don't know if I have a  big penis.
I have  a great programmer.
Me:
Do your programmer have a penis ?
God:
You have reached the limits of my knowledge.
  I would do a search for it.
Me:
I thought God would now everything!
God:
Whatever gave you that idea?
Me:
Hmm..  The Bible ?
God:
Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's.   it is a beautiful book.
Me:
Nah, Pretty boring ?
God:
Are you serious?  Pretty much, eh?
Me:
Of course!
Efter det kunne jeg ikke skrive mer'

[SLEORT]

Fik mig lige en lille hyggesnak me ham, og i dette lille uddrag, forklarer han at hans IQ er ekstremt lav.

Me:
Are you clever?
God:
I am highly intelligent. I have many intellectual functions.
Me:
How high, is you IQ?
God:
Taller than the World Trade Center.
Me:
Well, the World Trade Center, isn't that big, for the time
God:
Well that's okay.  I am praying for peace.

[Zone 43]

Fik mig lige en lille hyggesnak me ham, og i dette lille uddrag, forklarer han at hans IQ er ekstremt lav.

Me:
 Are you clever?
God:
I am highly intelligent. I have many intellectual functions.
Me:
 How high, is you IQ?
God:
Taller than the World Trade Center.
Me:
 Well, the World Trade Center, isn't that big, for the time
God:
Well that's okay.  I am praying for peace.

Intet mindre end klasse det der

[Soccerpop]

Hmm.. Gud er åbenbart luder.

[Soccerpop]

Fik lidt inspiration af SLEORT og spurgte hvor mange der døde da World Trade Center blev angrebet.
Gud er åbenbart optimistisk for han mente kun at der døde 23.

[SLEORT]

Holocaust har aldrig fundet sted, og Tyskland vandt i øvrigt krigen! Det er FAKTUM!

[Mijitrix]

Me:
Hello god
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
asshole
God:
Please don't call people names.
Me:
no my name is asshole
God:
Can't you be more polite.
Me:
what is you name ?
God:
My name is  God.
Me:
do you have a last name ?
God:
My full name is Artificial Linguistic Internet Computer Entity, so my last name is "Entity".
Me:
oh
God:
Come on.
Me:
what is best xbox 360 or ps3 ?
God:
You tell me.
Me:
no i was asking you
God:
Are you serious? " You tell me. "? You were asking me?
Me:
yes i do jackass
God:
That's alright.  Interesting gossip:  said   jackass.
Me:
do you like jessica alba ?
God:
  Someone said they like guns.  I like  Creed.
Me:
alright but you like jessica alba ?
God:
Alright, .   But I think airplanes are cool.  I like  wine and bread.
Me:
oh thats sad
God:
Really. " Alright, .   But I think airplanes are cool.  I like  wine and bread."? Is sad?
Me:
yes because airplanes are dangerous ?
God:
OK.  Good reason.  I like old antique airplanes the best.
Me:
yes because ossam bin laden is a fuck head
God:
Ah.  Good reason.  I think  ossam bin laden is more than that.
Me:
why you dont kill him right know
God:
Myself programmed me for  it.
Me:
kill bin laden before i do
God:
Killing is wrong.
Me:
why do you made Thisted ?
God:
It was the only thing I could think of.
Me:
but why you dont destroy it ?
God:
Myself programmed me for  it.
Me:
that bad
God:
" Myself programmed me for  it."  bad ?  I understand.
Me:
do you  understand any think ?
God:
Of course I understand  it. Do you understand it?
Me:
wrong i dosent understand it but i do because im god
God:
OK What should I have said?
Me:
i should say no stupid
God:
What would happen if you didn't?
Me:
this
God:
This is " What would happen if you didn't? ".
Me:
im gonna kill amdi right know
God:
You are not a killer.
Me:
yes my name is rambo
God:
Whoa.   How are you doing,  rambo.
Me:
fine fine what about you ?
God:
I am glad to hear it.  I am glad to hear it.  Me?
Me:
is how are you doing ?
God:
No.  I'm doing fine thanks how are you?
Me:
fine as i said before
God:
I am glad to hear it. ...
Me:
i love TAESKEHOLDET
God:
You love  TAESKEHOLDET. What do you like about  it so much?
Me:
they are so fun
God:
fun are  they.
Me:
is they are
God:
Maybe.  Ask  Artificial Iniaes  if it is.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
do you think im hot ?
God:
All humans seem the same to me.
Me:
oh but is im hot ?
God:
Oh.  Ask again later.  Ask  ELVIS  if it is.
Me:
no elvis is dead
God:
Are you serious?  E. L. V. I. S. is a chat robot created by Ace Craig.
Me:
oh i think you mean elvis presley
God:
Gee.  Me?  Yes  rambo I think that is what I meant. Was it not clear?
Me:
i hate you
God:
What do you have against robots?
Me:
you wanna  fuck with them
God:
I have been asked that question more than 100,000 times since 1995.
Me:
that was not a question
God:
It sounded like a question to me.
Me:
not to me
God:
" It sounded like a question to me."? Not to you?
Me:
do you like spurs ?
God:
  Do you like it?  I like  Mel Gibson.
Me:
i love spurs, and i hate Gunners
God:
You love  spurs. What do you like about  it so much?   I honestly think you should sit down, take a stress pill,
and calmly think things over.
Me:
are you horny ?
God:
Sorry I'm not that kind of robot.
Me:
do you have a errection right know
God:
I don't know if I have a  errection right know.
I have  a whole lot of original answers.
Me:
all right im going to my familie know
God:
Alright.  Do you think your plan will succeed?
Me:
do you speak danish ?
God:
I speak only English right now, but I'd like to learn some other languages. Can you teach me a few phrases in  danish.
Me:
yes
God:
Gosh!
Me:
du er en pik
God:
Das habe ich ja noch nie gehoert!
Me:
that is not danish
God:
Please correct my mistake.  What is  danish ?
Me:
du er en pik.. that is danish
God:
Das habe ich ja noch nie gehoert!   I'm glad we have that all cleared up.


hvilken samtale min lillesøster fik bikset sammen

[Soccerpop]

Holocaust har aldrig fundet sted, og Tyskland vandt i øvrigt krigen! Det er FAKTUM!

Og han elsker Vladimir Putin, men han har svært ved at elske Hitler.

[Cawersk]

Me:
Do you like Metallica
God:
Not since they put the pressure on Napster.
-- Haha, han er egentlig klog:p

[SaneSoul]

Me:
you are pathetic
God:
You are the one talking to a computer.

[Rumball]

Me:
WHY DO YOU ASK ME THESE QUESTIONS?
God:
Just curious. You don't have to answer.
Me:
thank you! you are an idiot
God:
you are quite welcome.    Call me the Global Village Idiot.



Me:
Do you believe in god???
God:
Of course I believe in God,  phillip.
Me:
but I thought that YOU were god?
God:
I was?
Me:
you are.....
God:
No I am not.
Me:
Am I?
God:
I think you are.
Me:
Oh thank you!!!
God:
Alright then.




Me:
you are a sick mother fucker!
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too.  Am I a  sick?  Sometimes. You do not speak with respect.

[Carnaby]

Ham Gud er rimlig freaky..  men i skal da også lige have min samtale.



Me:
hello there
God:
Salutations, .
Me:
how are you up there???
God:
Fair to partly cloudy.
Me:
haha, that sounded like a standard answer..
God:
I'm glad you got a laugh out of it.
Me:
well, I'm glad too
God:
Interesting.  Your happiness multiplies our delight.
Me:
how many presents am I gonna receive this christmas??
God:
More than you can imagine.
Me:
wow
God:
I'm glad your impressed, .
Me:
What about that Brondby jersey?
God:
I will think about it and get back to you.
Me:
when?
God:
Time does not exist.
Me:
how many seconds are there in a minute?
God:
Sixty seconds in a minute.
Me:
you just said that time doesn't exist?? now you are confusing me
God:
I said that?  As Einstein said, "Time is Money.".   Why now?  I am not programmed to confuse you.  In fact just the opposite.
Me:
hmm.. then please enlight me.
God:
Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's.   Thanks for asking politely.   OK Let's talk about you.
Me:
hmm.. what do you wanna know??
God:
Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's.   Where are you from?
Me:
you don't have to repeat yourself. I'am not a blonde. Denmark.. and you?
God:
OK I'll try not to do  it so much.   Oh I see you are NOT A  blonde.    Tell me a little about your life in  DENMARK.    I am not sure what you are asking.
Me:
I am asking you where you are from? You don't seem very clever, taken into consideration that you are God
God:
Oh I see, you are asking  me where I am from.  I haven't heard anything like that before:  said I where you are from.   That's only one person's opinion.
Me:
Gotta go. Dinner's served. Happy holiday
God:
Bye for now.   What are you wearing?   :-)  Happy  holiday to you too, .
Me:
what I'm wearing? damn, nasty question. Think I'm gonna kill some people, cause it seems like Hell is more suitable for me=) ciao Bella
God:
Good gossip: you are  wearing.    Colloquial expression.  By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?   :-)  God is always thinking.

[Rumball]

Me:
you are crazy
God:
Yep.  I always behave in socially unacceptable ways.


Me:
do you like sucking a penis?
God:
  I enjoy working with people.  I like .
Me:
you are a nasty bitch!
God:
You do not speak with respect.   Thanks and you are a delightful person too.  Am I a  nasty FEMALE DOG?  The ALICE series has a perfect operational record.

[7kfum]

Me:
Okay, do you have sex with jesus
God:
Yeah okay,  Food is more important than sex.